today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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