Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
