Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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