My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I lost the right to judge tonight
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
