we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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