and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
