Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
