I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize