Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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