just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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