I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
