he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
