I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
