so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize