YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
