is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
