I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
