I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
