i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
