Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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