they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
