I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
