Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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