this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
