no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
