a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
