aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
