My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
