P.S. I can't hear my feet
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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