he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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