i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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