He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize