omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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