you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
