I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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