As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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