I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize