wakey wakey hands off snakey
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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