Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
