I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
