Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
