I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
