A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
50% drunk capacity currently
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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