I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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