i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
