Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
