Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
