I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
