just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
