Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize