You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i out mim tonsoeep
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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