I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
