I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
