So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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