If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
