I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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