Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
