she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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