His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
