thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
