I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
