i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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