I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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