I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
